By the end of this week, I’d had plenty of opportunities to answer the question, “How have you been?” A mammogram, therapy, a GP follow-up, an infusion, and my annual neurology appointment had all landed close together. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind. Getting out of the house brought a little life with it, and I appreciated being able to connect with everyone involved in my care.
I came with things written down. Questions, symptoms, and changes I wanted to discuss—including the blood pressure readings I shared in Not Everything Gets to Be MS. Some things were easy to bring up. Others were the kind I could spend days thinking about and then somehow hesitate to mention once I had the opportunity.
Sometimes I worry about what the answer might be. Sometimes I wonder what the person across from me will think. And sometimes there’s so much going on that the question I was certain I’d remember disappears somewhere between arriving and being asked how I’m doing. Having a list helped me give those concerns a place in the conversation.
At my neurology appointment, we talked about the headaches I’d been experiencing after infusions and the spasms interrupting my sleep. I wondered whether poor sleep might be contributing to how I’d been feeling. We discussed changes to try, and I left with a plan we’d made together.I felt heard. After carrying those questions around, that meant a lot.
I don’t know yet how the changes will help. There’s time and follow-up involved. But I noticed the difference between arriving with concerns I was trying to sort through myself and leaving after someone had helped me consider them. I still had uncertainty. I also had a next step.
I think that feeling reaches beyond a doctor’s office. There are conversations we put off because we want to understand everything before we begin. We rehearse what to say, consider how it might be received, and decide we’ll bring it up when we can explain it better. Meanwhile, we keep carrying it.
I think about how readily I asked questions for my mom. I wanted her concerns heard. I didn’t expect her to know which details mattered or what they meant before she deserved help. I’m learning to give myself that same consideration, even when I feel uncomfortable being the one who needs it.
As I reflected on the week, Proverbs 15:22 came to mind: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” What stayed with me was the willingness to seek counsel in the first place. To bring the question before it’s neatly formed. To let someone contribute knowledge I don’t have.
For me, that begins with God. He is the One I look to for wisdom, including wisdom about whose counsel to seek and how to respond to it. I’m grateful for the care my doctors bring, and I see their help as one of the ways He can provide for me. My deepest trust rests in Him as we work through what comes next.
Maybe you have something you’ve almost brought up a few times. A concern, a decision, or a question you keep turning over. I understand the wish to feel more certain before letting someone else into it. This week reminded me how much relief there can be in finally having the conversation.
I didn’t leave with every answer. I left feeling heard, grateful for the people helping me, and hopeful about what we’re going to try. I’m thankful to God for that care, and for the wisdom I can keep seeking from Him along the way.
I’ve spent a little more time with Proverbs 15:22 in Faith in the Next Step, a companion devotion about seeking counsel and trusting God while the outcome is still unfolding.